"I was no Oasis, But surely I was a mirage. I was never here in the first place"

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Remember me

Remember me...
My time here was temporary
And now it has ended
I was no oasis but surely i was a mirage.
Thankyou.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Wolves on the hunt.

I Run.
My past chases me, Like hungry wolves on the hunt.
Everywhere I go, Everywhere I look,
I see the shadow of my old self,
It tells me I can't escape
I know I should just accept
But I'm nothing but a coward
I have no courage, I cant walk on my own two feet
I'm nothing but a leech
Let me feed on your kindness and love my dear.
I need you,
I breathe for you,
And I don't want that air to run out.
But it seems you are tired,
I'm nothing but a burden
A cross you need to carry
Only time will tell
and eventually you will let go.
Maybe I should also let go
Maybe this is the best for us my dear.
It was a good run, It was fun while it lasted
A new year will come.
But our hearts will never be the same.
Its time for the wolves to end their hunt
And let them Gnaw on me.
Let them tear me apart
Let them break my old shell
so I can be reborn.
into something new.


Friday, December 18, 2015

Tragedy

And I'm nothing but a tragedy.
Like the calm before a storm,
 I step in and the breeze becomes a gust.
With my clouded mind, My mouth keeps saying things I did not mean.
But here you are, Killing me with your kindness.
Ripping my skin slowly.
At the same time I know you are walking away.
Like a car on ice we are spinning out of control
Like an open wound you need time to heal.
But I, All I have done was disappoint.
I'm digging my own grave,
Opening Pandora's box,
and its hard to take back everything I have said.
I have searched far and wide, I have already accepted it
Ill be forever a mess, even I have no idea who,
or what I have become.
Now the lights I see them sparking from the distance
All you can hear is a faint voice of mine.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Hello love.

Oh hello love my invincible friend.
I have so many questions for you,
But here I lay under a blanket of gentle snow
The clouds they pass by.
But you brought me down, down to my knees.
You make my mind hazy.
and my chest heavy.
My nights restless
and my eyes red.
oh hello love.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Oasis.

lost in thought
I could hear it,
Drifting through the wind.
Rain drops sounding like bells.
In the darkest of nights.
Nothing but the moon lights the
desolate lands.
And here I'am in the middle of the ocean
Stuck in my own boat of sorrow.
I'm looking for that light
That will lead me to safer shores.
Where are you my light house?
I saw you from miles away.
But the closer I get the further you go.
Tired I'am indeed. But I will
come and knock on your door
Until you open. Ill be here, waiting.
I mourn for my sanity,
For my demons eat me slowly.
You say to me my dear that you are afraid.
But I have room for more,
Inside of me is a living hell.
 it well shelter you from your nightmares.
it can be home to the darkness inside of you.
I'am nothing but a man with a dream.
But I'am ready to give my everything,
For someone with nothing.


Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Sinking.

I woke up from my slumber
Noticed that the world was gone
Nothing but darkness.
I was already drowning when I woke up
wish you found me when I was awake
but it's to late now. I try to reach out my hand
but you seem so far away. I look up and your walls keep going higher.
My skin cracks from the coldness of the water.
I linger for your warm embrace, And your gentle kisses.
I can no longer swim up. for this rock tied to my foot wont come loose.
I did see a glimpse of light. it was your hand. but then it slowly faded.
You walked away. But I don't blame you.
I tried reaching for you, calling out your name.
But my voice started to fade away.
I wasted my chance, You held me tight but my mind was not right.
Now I'm slowly sinking in my own prison.
Forgive me my dear. I just did not want you to fall in with me
in this dark abyss.
Maybe it was best that you walked away.
Who know's what demons linger inside my shattered mind
So I guess this is goodbye. for who was once but not really mine.


Friday, November 27, 2015

Thoughts of a Loner

Why are you trying to become so hollow?
Why are you deleting all these memories you worked hard for?
All this feelings you have had since you where born.
Why do you Linger to be in a place such as Limbo my child?

" Well maybe because I'm tired.
Tired of loving, My faint heart cant take too much of a beating any more
My eyes won't even drop a single tear. So I just stand in the rain and pretend.
Don't get me wrong. I'm drowning in sorrow. Deep inside, yes.
But all I'am is a shell of my old self. I want to forget.
Forget about everything. For hope only brought despair.
And being optimistic only gave me disappointment.
You see these memories, We made them and enjoyed them,
But for what? We only lose them in the end and beg for more
when our time has come."

-Thoughts of a nihilistic loner